Brain-Dead Poets Society was the 10th episode of Season 2 of Roseanne, also the 33rd overall series episode. Written by Joss Whedon, the episode was directed by John Pasquin. It originally aired on ABC-TV on Halloween Night, November 28, 1989.


Darlene writes a poem in class that wins teacher recognition and is asked to read it at an assembly in front of the parents and student body. Roseanne is so pleased that Darlene can write and is excited to go to the assembly.

Darlene chooses not to go to the assembly, opting to spend the evening at home with Dan watching the game. Roseanne puts her foot down and they go to the assembly where Darlene strikes an emotional chord with all.


  • This is the first indication that Darlene has a knack for writing.
  • In the final scene, Darlene's class orchestra plays Pachelbel's "Canon in D" terribly out of tune.


Darlene (to Roseanne): Well, you were a nerd.
Roseanne: I was not a nerd.
Darlene: Dad said you were a nerd in school.
Roseanne: Well, consider the source.

Roseanne (to Becky): Use the phone in the bedroom. I'm talking to your dad.
Becky: I don't need to use the phone.
Dan: Oh! Let me get that on tape!

Darlene's Poem: "To Whom It Concerns: Darlene's work will be late, it fell on her pancakes and stuck to her plate. To Whom It Concerns: My mom made me write this, but I'm just a kid, so how could I fight this? To Whom It Concerns: I lost my assignment, maybe I'll get lucky, solitary confinement. To Whom It Concerns: Darlene's great with the ball, but guys don't watch tomboys when they're cruising the hall. To Whom It Concerns: I just turned thirteen, too short to be quarterback, too plain to be queen. To Whom It Concerns: I am not made of steel, when I get blindsided, my pain is quite real. I don't mean to squak, but it really burns. I just thought I'd mention it: To Whom It Concerns."

Roseanne (to Dan): Look, no matter what we do, we're gonna screw our kids up! You let me mess up Darlene and you can have Becky.
Dan: What about DJ?
Roseanne: We'll flip for him.

Roseanne: Season Two
Inherit the Wind|The Little Sister|Guilt by Disassociation|Somebody Stole My Gal|House of Grown-Ups|Five of a Kind|BOO!|Sweet Dreams|We Gather Together|Brain-Dead Poets Society|Lobocop|No Talking|Chicken Hearts|One for the Road|An Officer and a Gentleman|Born to Be Wild|Hair|I'm Hungry|All of Me|To Tell the Truth|Fender Bender|April Fool's Day|Fathers and Daughters|Happy Birthday
Season episode guides

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