Chicken Hearts was the 13th episode of Season 2 of Roseanne, also the 36th overall series episode. Written by Joss Whedon, the episode was directed by John Pasquin. It originally aired on ABC-TV on January 2, 1990.


Roseanne struggles to treat her 17-year-old boss with respect so she can have the weekends off to be with her family.


Dan (to Roseanne): Maybe you should quit that job.
Roseanne: And do what? All the power jobs are taken. Margaret's running England, Vanna's turning the letters over and Delta Burke's got her own damn TV show.

Roseanne: I've got two more pancakes here!
DJ: I want French toast!
Roseanne: Well, you better move to Europe.

Jackie (to Roseanne): You should quit that job.
Roseanne: And do what? Go back into medicine?

Brian (to Roseanne): You are paid to follow my orders! It isn't always pretty, but this is the business we've chosen.
Roseanne: You've got a big booger hanging out of your nose.

[Roseanne's boss Brian is telling the employees about the complaints regarding their speed]
Brian: Now this is supposed to be fast food, people, and we can't exactly call it fast.
Roseanne: Why not? We call it food.

Crystal (to Roseanne): You can use some work on your interpersonal relationships.
Roseanne: Stick it!

Brian (to Roseanne): Look, I'm gonna tell you something right now, all right? That negative attitude of yours is gonna get you nowhere.
Roseanne: This is nowhere.

Roseanne (to Brian, after learning she's been fired): I need that job! I hate like hell that I do, but I need it! And I'm not working there because I'm not getting enough allowance. I'm paying a mortgage and buying clothes and putting food on the table for three kids! But I don't think you'd even understand that. I don't think you understand anything. You're not grown up enough yet to understand that your life doesn't always turn out the way you plan it to be, and sometimes you end up doing stuff you thought you'd never do in a million years, but you still have to do it, 'cause there's nothing else you can do.

Roseanne (to Dan): Hi honey.
Crystal (to Dan): Hi Honey.
Jacky(to Dan): Hi Honey.
Dan: ooooh, threesome.

Roseanne: Season Two
Inherit the Wind|The Little Sister|Guilt by Disassociation|Somebody Stole My Gal|House of Grown-Ups|Five of a Kind|BOO!|Sweet Dreams|We Gather Together|Brain-Dead Poets Society|Lobocop|No Talking|Chicken Hearts|One for the Road|An Officer and a Gentleman|Born to Be Wild|Hair|I'm Hungry|All of Me|To Tell the Truth|Fender Bender|April Fool's Day|Fathers and Daughters|Happy Birthday
Season episode guides

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