| Season 6: Episode 16|
(138 / 231 episodes)
|Air date||February 8, 1994|
|Written by||Betsy Borns and Mike Gandolfi|
|Directed by||Phillip Charles MacKenzie|
David vs. Goliath
Don't Make Room for Daddy
Jackie's house is buzzing with activity as Roseanne tries to hide David from Dan, who has a hard time dealing with David's duplicity.
Everything is a-buzzing as Roseanne prepares a lengthy list of jobs for Darlene as punishment when she arrives home, despite Becky's protests. When Darlene arrives, she immediately refuses to do the list or concede to Roseanne's grounding of her, stating that she only came back to negotiate David's return to the Conner household; David himself is hiding out at Jackie's house, which both he and a very pregnant Jackie are finding increasingly uncomfortable. Roseanne warns Darlene that Dan's temper is still up after David confessed to him about living with Darlene for three months, therefore she will act as Darlene's middleman only if Darlene accepts her extended workload.
When Dan arrives, however, he greets Darlene enthusiastically and shows no indication that she has done anything wrong; taking advantage of his good mood and eagerness to spend time with her since she is not often home, Darlene refuses to take Roseanne's list. However, when she eventually brings up the subject of David's return, Dan immediately and angrily shuts down, refusing to discuss it. Eventually, Darlene sucks up and admits to her gloating mother that she needs her help.
After a day of hard work, Darlene prepares to sneak out and meet with David, but her father's presence in the living room deters her. She again tries to explain why she wants to see David again, but Dan refuses to view David as anything other than a source of trouble. Later that night, David sneaks in through Darlene's basement window; they acknowledge that their relationships and their housing situations are screwed up, but they still love one another. Just as they start kissing and embracing, Dan comes in with some spare blankets; on seeing David he immediately reacts with violence, shaking him and throwing him against the wall despite Darlene's protests. Darlene tells David to go back to Jackie's just as Roseanne comes downstairs, revealing her deception to Dan; tired of her mother's manipulation, Darlene explains to Dan that Roseanne found out about David's staying in her apartment several weeks ago and had been covering it up from him. She immediately follows David to Jackie's, leaving Roseanne to deal with Dan's mounting anger.
Later, Roseanne heads over to Jackie's to collect Darlene, who immediately refuses to return, much less submit to her restrictions, until David is allowed to as well. She explains that she does not need Roseanne to make her feel consequences for having moved in early with David; by the time Roseanne caught them, they had both realized it was a mistake. Roseanne responds that she is not angry with Darlene over that, but over the fact that she and David lied to her and Dan for three months. Acknowledging this, Darlene agrees that she will face her punishments when she returns- but she is still not coming back to the house until Dan settles down and allows David to return. While not completely satisfied, Roseanne agrees she will try to arrange this - once she is allowed to go back herself.
Back at the Conner house next morning, Fred arrives and questions Dan's position. Dan angrily suggests that Fred should sue Jackie for custody of their unborn child, or otherwise he will never get to have anything to do with it. Roseanne's arrival hastens Fred's departure, but Dan is still in no mood to speak to his wife; he is now blaming her for having brought David into the house in the first place. He states that 'men are pigs' and that, on his second date wth Roseanne, he had been trying to ply her to sleep with him after she had a fight with her mom rather than being sympathetic. Scornfully, Roseanne reveals that she never had a fight; she had been trying to seduce him, rather than the other way around.
She points out that Dan has been blaming the entire Chicago affair on David from the start, simply because he is so over-protective of Darlene, his favorite; he is not acknowledging that Darlene has near-total control over her relationship with David and that she has been having sex with him entirely on her own terms. Unable to come up with a proper retort, Dan leaves.
That evening, Dan arrives at Jackie's, telling Darlene that he is willing to bring David back. Darlene's delight at this response is tempered by the fact that Dan is still angry with David; he has simply taken Roseanne's advice and shifted some of his blame towards her. Darlene questions why he is taking such issue with her deception and adult relationship, since he 'let Becky off the hook' when she eloped. Dan responds, "Maybe...I expected more of you." When David is told of the news, he respectfully thanks Dan, promising not to lie to him again;they then return to the Conner house to begin their punishments.