| Season 5: Episode 12|
(109 / 231 episodes)
|Air date||December 15, 1992|
|Written by||Eric Gilliand|
|Directed by||Andrew D. Weyman|
Of Ice and Men
Crime and Punishment
It's No Place Like Home for The Holidays was the 12th episode of Season 5 of Roseanne, also the 109th overall series episode. Written by Eric Gilliand, the episode was directed by Andrew D. Weyman. It originally aired on ABC-TV on December 15, 1992.
A snowstorm forces the Conners to be far-flung apart on Christmas Eve: Roseanne, Jackie, Bev, and Nana Mary are stuck at the Lunchbox; Dan, DJ, and Nancy are at the Conner house; and Darlene is at David's, learning about his abusive home life.
A Christmas Eve snowstorm scatters the Conners. Roseanne and Jackie are trapped at the Luch Box with Bev and Nana Mary. Dan and DJ are left to cook dinner at home with Nancy and Marla. Meanwhile, Darlene is stuck at David's house following a fight. She soon learns the truth about David's home life when his mother shows up drunk and heaping abuse on him for no reason, bringing an embarrassed David to tears.
- In this episode, Roseanne, Jackie, and Bev decorate Nana Mary after she falls asleep at the diner. Roseanne incorporated this into this episode as a joke as Shelly Winters who plays Nana Mary used to fall asleep on the set. Roseanne talks about this in the bonus features on the DVD in season 5. Roseanne said that it wasn't like Shelly Winters to do that herself, but she got so into her character of Nana Mary that she would have trouble getting out of her character as falling asleep would've been something Nana Mary would've done.
- Oscar nominee Sally Kirkland [who portrays Anna in this episode] had a part in the Roseanne and Tom Arnold movie, "The Woman Who Loved Elvis."
- In this episode we see that David and Mark have 2 sisters: Lisa and Nikki. This scene is cut from syndicated airings in the US. This is the only episode they appear in, and are mentioned only one other time in an episode later this season It's a Boy. In that episode David tells Darlene that his parents are divorcing and that his dad has already moved out with Lisa and Nikki.
- In this episode, we learn that Bev has a sister named Sonya.
- Roseanne: (when Bev wants to drop the conversation where she insinuated she doesn't believe in God) No, we can't just drop this-- you think you're the only person that's been through stuff? I've been through stuff. But, ya know, but, I still believe in God, ya know-- I mean, I'd like to believe all the horrible, hideous crap that I have to wallow through every single day of my life, at some point, I will find out the MEANING to and the reason FOR, I mean, so I can be happy, you know what I mean? There just has to be a God. There IS! I swear to God there is a God! And, if there ain't, I've been screwed!!!
- Jackie: What are we talking about this, God and Heaven and everything?!? It's Christmas!!!
- Darlene: [to David after trying to leave in a snowstorm] Don't get excited. I basically chose you over death.
- Jackie: Roseanne, I know how to get you back in the holiday spirit.
- Roseanne: How?
- Jackie: Let's decorate Nana Mary.
- Mrs. Healy: [yelling at David]...dragging Conner trash over here. Another slut just like her sister! [storms upstairs]
- David: Darlene, I'm-I'm sorry.
- Darlene: Hey "slut" didn't bother me. "Just like her sister" part that hurts. [she hugs him]
- Bev: (as Roseanne and Jackie put Christmas decorations on a sleeping Nana Mary) Girls, stop that! You're being stupid and childish! Everyone knows you string lights from the top! (joins in decorating)
- Nana Mary: (criticizing Bev's bad weather driving) You pump the breaks when there's ice and snow!
- Bev: I was pumping it!
- Nana Mary: Oh. Pump this!!! (gestures with open hands)
- Jackie: (talking about having quit going to therapy) Fisher says I don't need it. He says I'm able to make my own decisions.
- Roseanne: Hey, I'll be the one to tell you when you're able to make your own decisions!