| Season 5: Episode 8|
(105 / 231 episodes)
|Air date||November 10, 1992|
|Written by||David Raether and Betsy Borns|
|Directed by||Andrew D. Weyman|
Stand on Your Man
Ladies' Choice was the eighth episode of Season 5 of Roseanne, also the 105th overall series episode. Written by David Raether and Betsy Borns, the episode was directed by Andrew D. Weyman. It originally aired on ABC-TV on November 10, 1992.
Roseanne and Jackie are both shocked to learn that Nancy is a lesbian. Roseanne starts to think that she is growing old when Bev decides to move into a retirement community.
Nancy takes Roseanne and Jackie by surprise with the announcement that she and Marla are lovers; Bev announces she is moving into a Lanford retirement center, which leaves Roseanne feeling over the hill.
- Jackie: Nancy's gay? Who would've thought? She was married to Arnie.
- Roseanne: That explains it, being married to Arnie would make any woman gay.
- Bev [after she learns Nancy is a lesbian]: Of course she's a lesbian! I'm a lesbian! You're a lesbian! We're all lesbians!
- Roseanne: I feel like I'm 16, with an 18 year old married daughter, 2 mortgages and a mother going into a retirement home. I wish I was old enough to drink!
- Roseanne: [pointing to Nancy's girlfriend, Marla]: Tell me Nancy, how come when you date guys, they look like Arnie, but when you date girls they look like her?
- Roseanne: We'd react the same way we react when you tell us something personal. We make fun of you until it gets old and then move on.
- Roseanne: How old do you feel, Mom?
- Bev: I'm 63 years old.
- Roseanne: No, I know how old you are, how old do you feel?
- Bev: 63, I'm 63.
- Roseanne: Mom, stop saying that.
- Bev: What do you want me to say?
- Roseanne: That you feel 16, or 24, or 35, just anything but 63, it's old.
- Bev: I'm not old.
- Roseanne: Being in this place will make you old.
- Roseanne: That would be the last place she would ever live, Jackie. That'd be where we'd go to get her stuff after she died.
- Jackie: Why're you worrying about that? That's a long time away.
- Roseanne: You don't know that. I can't believe it, we're planning Mom's death.
- Jackie: We've been planning her death for years.
- Roseanne: Plotting, not planning.