| Season 1: Episode 16|
(16 / 231 episodes)
|Air date||February 21, 1989|
|Written by||Laurie Gelman|
|Directed by||John Sgueglia|
Nightmare on Oak Street
As Roseanne and her gang prepare for the annual Landford Mall-A-Thon, she realizes that Dan needs new shoes and Becky needs a dress, so she takes the family with her.
- In this episode, Dan tells a shoe store clerk he takes a size 13D shoe. Earlier in the same season, in episode six, "Lovers' Lane," Dan told Crystal his shoe size is an 11.
- Dan: There's no way I'm spending my Saturday sitting in a shoe store waiting to be waited with fifty other guys who are waiting to be waited on. I ain't buying shoes. That's it. End of discussion.
- Roseanne: And get a couple of extra pairs of laces too.
- Darlene: You give us the same speech every time we go to the mall. "No jumping on waterbeds, no perfume fights..."
- Becky (to Roseanne): Mom, Darlene and DJ are killing each other out there.
- Roseanne: What's the bad news?
- Darlene (to Dan): Dad, I need money.
- DJ: No she doesn't!
- Darlene: Go suck on a loafer. C'mon Dad, Mom won't gimme any!
- Dan: She probably has a good reason.
- Darlene: No, just cheapness.
- Becky: Mom, look at this dress. Can I have it, please? please, please, please, please, please, please?
- Roseanne: Well, first you gotta say please.
- Saleslady (to Roseanne): This dress is an investment, you know. In a few years, your other daughter will be able to wear it.
- Roseanne: For eighty bucks, our whole family has to be able to wear it!
- Roseanne: (to Becky) We gotta wait for your dad to park the car. Then we gotta hear the Epic Saga.
- Becky (to Roseanne): Why does Dad take so long to park the car?
- Roseanne: Because he has to drive around the parking lot for 20 minutes looking for a spot two inches closer than the one he found ten minutes before.