Roseanne talks Leon into letting her play Santa Claus at the mall after the previous Santa is bitten on the hand by a child. In the process, she hears something she wishes she hadn't from the mother of one of the kids - who turns out to be Darlene's new friend and confidante.
- Jackie (as Mrs Claus): Alright! Listen up! This is the procedure. When you reach the front of the line, you will approach and sit in Santa's lap. You will then state your Christmas wish, after which you will have your picture taken and receive your candy cane. Any deviation from this procedure will result in the loss of candy cane! Remember: possession of cane is a privilege, not a right! No one gets bit on my beat.
- Roseanne (to Dan): So I met Karen today.
- Dan: Darlene's Karen? What's she like?
- Roseanne: Well, she has a five-year-old kid.
- Dan: So, she's a senior then?