| Season 4: Episode 9|
(81 / 231 episodes)
|Air date||November 19, 1991|
|Written by|| Teleplay by: |
Maxine Lapiduss and Jeff Abugov
Story by: Chuck Lorre and Bob Myer
|Directed by||Andrew D. Weyman|
Stressed to Kill was the ninth episode of Season 4 of Roseanne, also the 81st overall series episode. Written by Maxine Lapiduss and Jeff Abugov from an original story written by Chuck Lorre and Bob Myer, the episode was directed by Andrew D. Weyman. It originally aired on ABC-TV on November 19, 1991.
Becky gets into hot water for helping Darlene with a school assignment. Meanwhile, trying to stop smoking cold-turkey has Roseanne frazzled along withworking two jobs.
- DJ (to Roseanne): You stink!
- Roseanne: I do not.
- DJ: You smell like smoke.
- Roseanne: Well, my hair was on fire.
- Darlene: High school's just learning lies and telling lies.
- Roseanne: Really? Then how come you ain't getting any A's?
- Bonnie: She has cigarettes in there!
- Leon: Okay! Okay! Roseanne, go to the bathroom. The purse stays here!
- Roseanne: Oh! Fine! I'll go get my coat.
- (Bonnie and Leon give chase)
- Roseanne: Man, I don't need cigarettes. My kids will kill me.
- Roseanne (to Dan): If I quit, I'll gain back all the weight I lost! You don't want that, do you?
- Dan: That's right, keep smoking. I like my women skinny and hawking up tar.
- Roseanne (to a customer): Can I help you?
- Customer: Huh, yeah. Which is better, the tuna salad or the egg salad?
- Roseanne: Tuna salad, egg salad, chicken salad, turkey salad, shrimp salad. What difference does it make? It's all just different words for mayonnaise. Pick one.
- Customer: No...
- Roseanne: YES you did, then why'd you take a big ol' bite out of it?
- Bonnie (while on the phone): Oh, she's doing much better Dan.
- Roseanne: Eat it or wear it.