Take My Bike...Please! was the second episode of Season 4 of Roseanne, also the 74th overall series episode. Written by Bob Myer from a story by Mark Rosewater, the episode was directed by Andrew D. Weyman. It originally aired on ABC-TV on September 24, 1991.
Roseanne and Dan open up shop at Lanford Custom Cycle, but selling a bike proves an exhausting challenge along with keeping the household fine-tuned with Becky in charge.
- Roseanne: Man, this family is falling apart, Dan.
- Dan: Tough to stop a moving train, honey.
- Roseanne: I just put Becky in charge. That's like putting Fredo in charge of the Corleone family.
- DJ: I haven't said anything in 2 days and nobody's noticed.
- Roseanne: That's not true.
- DJ: Uh huh! The last thing I said was "Cheerios."
- Becky (raising her hand): Now, I object.
- Roseanne (talking about the kids): How'd they get so spoiled when we've given them absolutely nothing?
- Becky: (to Roseanne and Dan) You will not believe what Darlene just made for dinner.
- Darlene (walks in): Hey! DJ loves it!
- Becky: DJ eats hair!
- Dan (to Roseanne): I'm beat, let's just go to bed. (Dan and Roseanne turn out the lights and go to their room before Dan realizes they promised to read a story to DJ) Oh, my god! I can't believe we forgot about him again!
- Roseanne: Boy, he better learn how to whine and complain like his sisters or he isn't going to make it in this family.
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