Take My Bike...Please! was the second episode of Season 4 of Roseanne, also the 74th overall series episode. Written by Bob Myer from a story by Mark Rosewater, the episode was directed by Andrew D. Weyman. It originally aired on ABC-TV on September 24, 1991.


Roseanne and Dan open up shop at Lanford Custom Cycle, but selling a bike proves an exhausting challenge along with keeping the household fine-tuned with Becky in charge.


Roseanne: Man, this family is falling apart, Dan.
Dan: Tough to stop a moving train, honey.

Roseanne: I just put Becky in charge. That's like putting Fredo in charge of the Corleone family.

DJ: I haven't said anything in 2 days and nobody's noticed.
Roseanne: That's not true.
DJ: Uh huh! The last thing I said was "Cheerios."

Becky (raising her hand): Now, I object.

Roseanne (talking about the kids): How'd they get so spoiled when we've given them absolutely nothing?

Becky: (to Roseanne and Dan) You will not believe what Darlene just made for dinner.
Darlene (walks in): Hey! DJ loves it!
Becky: DJ eats hair!

Dan (to Roseanne): I'm beat, let's just go to bed. (Dan and Roseanne turn out the lights and go to their room before Dan realizes they promised to read a story to DJ) Oh, my god! I can't believe we forgot about him again!
Roseanne: Boy, he better learn how to whine and complain like his sisters or he isn't going to make it in this family.

Roseanne: Season Four
A Bitter Pill to Swallow|Take My Bike ... Please!|Why Jackie Becomes a Trucker|Darlene Fades to Black|Tolerate Thy Neighbor|Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down|Vegas|Vegas, Vegas|Stressed to Kill|Thanksgiving '91|Kansas City, Here We Come|Santa Claus|Bingo|The Bowling Show|The Back Story|Less is More|Breakin' Up is Hard to Do|This Old House|The Commercial Show|Therapy|Lies|Deliverance|Secrets|Don't Make Me Over|Aliens
Season episode guides

Season 1|Season 2|Season 3|Season 4|Season 5|Season 6|Season 7|Season 8|Season 9|Season 10