The Pied Piper of Lanford was the 25th episode and season finale episode of Season 3 of Roseanne, also the 72nd overall series episode. Written by Jeff Abugov, the episode was directed by Gail Mancuso. It originally aired on ABC-TV on May 14, 1991.
Dan and Roseanne commit to opening a motorcycle shop with their free-spirited old friend Ziggy, who gets cold feet at the last minute.
- Ziggy: (to Roseanne) Becky's got a crush on me. She digs my eyes.
- Roseanne: Well, red always was her favorite color.
- Ziggy: I believe in this idea.
- Roseanne: Well Ziggy, you used to believe you could see yourself sleeping if you just woke up fast enough.
- Ziggy: And I haven't been proven wrong.